


can you hear me? i miss you.

by seasandsalt



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29775714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasandsalt/pseuds/seasandsalt
Summary: he’s the reason things didn’t work out and he regrets it.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	can you hear me? i miss you.

**Author's Note:**

> goes hand in hand with [infinite intermission.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29649945)  
> there’s no particular order to read them in. each tell the same story but from a different perspective.  
> they’re left ambiguous for a reason, it’s up to you to decide which story belongs to who.
> 
> slight inspiration taken from teddy hyde’s ‘freedom’

the lights of the city spread out before him, bright and consistent. they twinkle and dance and he takes a shuddering breath.

he’s sitting on the roof of his apartment building. he doesn’t know what time it is, only that it’s early in the morning. far too early.

rain pours from the sky and pounds against his skin.

goosebumps cover his body and his hair is wet and flat against his head.

he’s shivering in his thin t-shirt and sweatpants.

he remembers what his mom used to tell him, about sitting out in the rain without proper clothing. he hopes he gets a cold.

his head has been aching for days, now, and it won’t go away. maybe it’s the lack of sleep.

he can’t remember the last time he slept, or even touched his bed.

his room brings back painful memories.

the sight of his off-blue walls reminds him of confessions and first kisses. 

the sight of his desk chair makes him feel the weight of thighs around his hips.

the sight of his window reminds him of late night conversations under the stars.

the sight of his bed brings back memories of lips on his skin and hands on his body.

he doesn’t sleep because he can’t step foot in his room without feeling like he’s going to die. his chest hurts and his lungs close and he can’t breathe.

the rain hurts his skin.

horns blare from the cars on the street below him and he blinks water out of his eyes.

words echo in his head, the words he’d uttered to his beloved the day he got scared.

it isn’t over, he’d said. it’s just a break, he’d said. it’s an infinite intermission, he’d said.

_please, we can talk about this._

he remembers throwing his bag on the bed and shoving his items into it. 

_what did i do wrong?_

it wasn’t his fault. of course it wasn’t his fault. he needed space. he told him that.

_we can work this out!_

they both fell too hard and too fast. they didn’t know what they were in for and they hadn’t thought of the consequences. 

_please! talk to me!_

he hears his phone ring in his pocket. it’s distant, far away. he knows who it is. knows it’s quackity or punz, calling to ask if he wants to hang out, if he wants to do something to get his mind off of it.

he lets it go to voicemail.

_don’t go!_

a siren wails in the distance. he wonders if he can hear it.

his eyes sting and there’s built up pressure behind them but the tears don’t seem to fall. 

_we can go over this tomorrow._

he remembers slamming his hand on the desk and he remembers the way his lover had flinched at the sudden movement. 

every breath hurts and sobs catch in his throat. his hands are numb with the cold and his clothes are soaked through.

_are you coming back?_

he’s always done this, gotten too attached and got scared of what could happen.

they needed a break.

right?

the time away would do them both good. 

surely?

_i don’t need a break! we don’t need a break!_

thunder booms in the distance and he hopes he gets struck by lightning.

_you’re the only thing i have!_

he opens his mouth to speak but the words don’t come out.

_you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me._

he is a mountain, stuck exactly where he stands. rain pools around him and he cannot move. he’s stuck in place on the roof and he’s stuck in place in his mind.

_you know what?_

he can’t move on.

_you really wanna do this?_

he can’t go back.

_go._

his voice cracks and breaks.

_don't come back._

i miss you, he calls into the nothingness. his words fall flat against the sky and are drowned out by the sound of the rain.

_did you ever love me?_

i love you, he cries. 

_was i just a pastime for you?_

_something to use when you wanted to get off?_

can you hear me? he screams.

_you’re not coming back. are you?_

i miss you, he calls again. he screams into the void and watches in horror as his words evaporate before his eyes.

the cars are honking louder and the rain is pounding harder and he’s

alone.

_it isn’t over._

_let’s call it_

_an infinite intermission._

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/seasandsalt)


End file.
